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It
Happened One Sunday
I was assigned to write a dramatic play involving some sort of Bible lesson. I decided to write about worship team. This is dedicated to all of you crazy people out there with me! :)
CAST:
Jen:
Domineering
leader of the worship team.
Breanne:
Slightly gothic looking girl who keeps the peace.
Matt:
Tall punky
muscular kid with spiky clothes and hyper demeanor.
Andy:
Chubby boy with glasses who always fights with Matt.
Chris:
Short and timid middle schooler.
Tim:
Youth minister with a laid-back, “come as you are” attitude.
DIALOGUE:
<Set
in a large youth room. Bare walls, with a window at one side. Couch at one side
with a ladder set behind it.>
Jen:
Okay guys, we’ve
got to get this worship service done in a measly five hours. This means we need
to concentrate, cooperate, and …
(Matt
and Andy cut her off with an argument)
Matt:
Stop pushing me, you freak!
That was my toe that you stepped on!
Andy:
If your feet weren’t so big, I
wouldn’t hafta step on them!
Matt:
I’m tall, you crazy punk! And where’s my Slick Shoes CD?!!
Andy:
You gave it to me just last week!
You let Jennifer keep your Indestructible Huxtables CD for a year! That’s not
FAIR!
Matt:
I don’t care if it’s fair, GIMME BACK MY CD, WEIRDO!
(Matt
and Andy start wrestling one another; Breanne steps between them)
Breanne:
Hey, hey, stop that, Andy, Matt. Jen’s talking right now… let’s
listen to what she has to say (mutters) Or she’ll explode…
(Matt
and Andy look sullen, but stop fighting; Jen continues, slightly relieved)
Jen:
Back to what I was saying… oh, yeah, five hours to recreate heaven
ain’t much. Especially if our lovely youth minister – Wait! Where’s Tim?
Chris:
(hesitantly) Well, I think he’s at…
Jen:
(interrupts) Oh! Choir meeting, that’s it. Well, he better hurry up or we’ll
never finish. (looks out the window) There he is, coming out of the church!
(All
five watch Tim cross the pathway, motioning to an unseen parishioner; he laughs,
then saunters across the stage to join the group)
Tim:
Hey guys, glad to see all of you. So, what’s up?
Jen:
(frantically): Um, Tim, we have a worship service that needs to be ready in…
(looks at watch) Exactly 4 hours and 52 minutes.
Matt:
Hey, I have an idea! Let’s make the theme “All pets go to heaven.”
Then we could get some dogs and cats and fish and hamsters and…
Breanne:
Um, last time we dealt with animals, we managed to kill 25 fish in five minutes.
Tim:
Hey, I didn’t know that you need to dechlorinate the fish’s water!
Jen:
Well, that’s in
the past now. Let’s focus on this
service. I’ve been thinking about this for the past couple of days and I came
up with a list of ideas. Hold on…
(Jen
digs around in her purse. Everyone else looks at each other and groans.)
Andy:
We aren’t gonna do the Martha
Stewart shimmery fruit wreath thingies again, are we?
Matt:
Or that silly honeydew ice sculpture cake?
Andy
and Matt (simultaneously): THE SPRAYPAINT SUNSET!
Breanne:
(giggles) Yeah, we’re still trying to get all of that blue paint off the
floor.
Andy:
And my shoes!
Jen:
Funny, funny,
guys. I found it! (pulls out a list three feet long) Yes, carved brick walls for
the fortress of heaven… I was thinking we could do that out of styrofoam and a
layer of real stones… then we could make angels wings out of real feathers
and…
(Jen
drones on and on; everyone else shuffles uncomfortably)
Breanne:
That sounds great, Jen, but do you think we really have time to gold leaf the
entire ceiling?
Jen:
It will be PERFECTION!
(Jen
stands, looking at the sky with a wistful, yearning expression.)
Breanne:
Um, okay. Back to earth for Jennifer. Remember who you’re working with.
(Breanne
points at the motley group around her)
Matt:
Hey, I resent that. (pretends like he’s holding a paintbrush and talks
with a French accent) I am an ARTISTE!
Andy:
If you’re an artist, then I’m
the king of the world! (walks around with his chest sticking out) Peasant, fetch
my royal crown!
Breanne:
Andy, CUT IT OUT!
(Breanne
hits Andy on the head)
Jen:
(looks at her watch) OMIGOSH! We only have 4 hours and 39 minutes left! Let’s
get crackin’!
Tim:
Okay, we can split
this thing up. I’ll go to Wal-mart with the guys and pick up some of those
things on the list.
Jen:
Good thinking. Chris, Breanne, and I can start on the walls.
Matt
and Andy: (clamoring towards the edge of the stage) I CALL SHOTGUN!
(Matt
and Andy continue to argue as they exit)
Tim:
With that crew,
everything will be perfect. We’ll be back ASAP!
(Tim
walks off)
Jen
(looks at her hands) OH! You forgot the list! (starts to run after Tim, but
comes back) Shoot, I’m too late. They already drove off. Oh, well, let’s
start painting. Chris, go clean the floors in the youth room.
Chris:
(softly) But I wanted to pa…
Jen:
No arguments. We
are all gears in this well-oiled machine. Go do what you’re told.
Chris:
Okay… I don’t mind.
(Chris
walks away, hunched over in a dejected manner)
Breanne:
You know, you’re a bit harsh on the boy. He only wants to help, y’know?
Jen:
We have no time to think about mushy stuff like feelings. We’ve got…
four hours to get this thing perfect!
Breanne:
You’re gonna kill yourself with this perfection kick. We’re only a bunch of
kids…
Jen
(screams): WORK, BREANNE!
Breanne:
(slightly abashed) Okay, fine…
(Chris
comes back, dragging a huge vacuum cleaner that is bigger than himself)
Breanne:
Did you carry that thing up the stairs, Chris?!
Chris:
(grunts) It wasn’t that hard.
(Christ
starts vacuuming the floor; Jen leans over and looks at the carpet)
Jen:
It’s not clean
enough, Chris. I can still see dried candle wax.
Chris:
Well, what am I supposed to do?!
(Jen
glares at Chris; Chris kinda whimpers)
Breanne:
(digs around in her pocket) Here are some keys… I’ll help you get the candle
wax off the floor, ‘kay?
(Both
start scraping at the floor; Jen sets up a ladder and grabs a couple of cans of
spray paint)
Breanne:
Want help with that?
Jen:
No, that’s fine.
I can do it myself…. OHHHHHH!
(Jen
falls off the ladder, hits a ceiling tile which falls on top of her)
Chris
and Breanne: JENNIFER!
Jen:
(sits up, slightly dazed) Wha…. what just happened? (pushed the tile off of
her and tries to get up) OH! OUCH!!!!!! MY ANKLE!
Breanne:
What is it?!
Jen:
I can’t move it!
Breanne:
Oh, no… I’ll go call Tim.
(Tim,
Matt and Andy walk into the room with arms full of shopping bags)
Breanne:
Okay, nevermind. Tim, I think Jen sprained her ankle.
Tim:
You’re joking,
right?
Matt:
(mutters under his breath) Serves her right.
(Jen
lays there moaning; Tim and Andy help her hobble to the couch in the corner of
the room)
Jen:
What about the
ceiling? and the clouds and the wings and our heaven! It’s ruined!
Tim:
Don’t worry
about a thing, Jennifer. We’ve got it covered… it’ll be good.
(Andy
and Matt start fencing with samurai swords)
Matt:
Hah! I will get you yet, evil
master of the dark!
Andy:
Not if I kill you first! (pokes Matt with the sword)
Jen:
Only three hours and 37 minutes left! I’m doomed!
<Scene
blackouts>
<Lights
come up on a youth room, filled with sloppily painted sheets and slightly messy,
with dripping candles everywhere>
Breanne:
See, Jen? Even though you couldn’t implement your ideas, our service still
went well. We had a good-sized crowd, everyone laughed at Andy’s joke in his
sermonette, and the singing was excellent.
Chris:
Yeah! Besides the slight mishap with Andrew getting caught up in glittery
netting, the guitar strings snapping during “Amazing Grace”, and the
janitors knocking on the door in the middle of the service… it was great.
Jen:
It certainly wasn’t what I envisioned.
Tim:
Well, nothing can really live up to our expectations… perhaps that’s
the hardest thing to face: letting go and allowing God to take control. But
everyone really liked what we had to say. I feel like they learned a lot. And
that’s the most important part.
Jen:
(hesitates) I don’t know, though. It would’ve been so cool to build the
entrance to heaven using marbled painting techniques.
(silence)
Jen:
OKAY! I admit it, I liked the service.
(more
silence)
Jen:
Well, I LOVED IT. (haltingly) Thanks, guys for putting up with me.
Chris:
(softly) No problem, Jen.
Matt:
Well, I learned one thing from this…I just don’t ever want to work
for you in the real world, Jen. I’d never know what crazy things you’d make
me do.
Andy:
You’re crazy enough already! You’re the one that ran around Wal-mart
screaming, “My feet are on fire and I like it!!!”
Matt:
HUSH! You weren’t supposed to tell them about that!
(Matt
puts Andy in a headlock)
Jen:
Now that you mention crazy ideas, I just had an inspiration for next
month’s service…
All
together: NOT AGAIN!!!!!!
Jen:
(laughs) It’s alright, guys! I was thinking about… humility. Maybe I learned
a little bit about that today.
Chris:
As long as it doesn’t involve
scraping wax off the carpets, I’m game.
<Lights
black out>
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