Death of Boredom IV- Dress Problems- Part 1: The Destruction

Death of Boredom IV-
Dress Problems- Part 1: The Destruction
By Lil Phoenix

        "They are so dead!!!!!!!!!!!"
        Athene and Darker Shadow exchanged worried glances at the sound of Ebiru's shriek and the immediate stomping toward her room that followed. Of course, her room had been turned into the Official Villain Lounge, so that meant that they were coming their way.
        "Should we run?" Athene asked.
        "Wouldn't do any good," Shadow replied.
        They sat there for a few moments until Ebiru reached the door, and were greeted with an interesting spectacle. Ebiru stood before them in her normal black dress- but it had splotches of grey all over it.
        "Those brats threw bleach at me! Bleach! My dress is ruined, and now I smell all... chemically!!!" She started to sit on her bed, but soon thought against it, not wanting to get bleach on her deep red comforter.
        "Ugh..." Ebiru sighed, exasperated. "Does anybody have some clothes I can borrow? I don't know what I'm gonna do about all this, but first I want some decent clothes."
        Athene glanced down at her own outfit. "You know we only own one oufit each. Since Kasei cast those spells on these clothes, they always stay clean, so we never needed any more outfits... We save money and time not having to wash our clothes..."
        Ebiru sat down on the floor and rested her head on her hand. "Yeah, I know. But I need some different clothes, these are not going to do."
        While his sister had been complaining, Shadow had been thinking. "You know what this means..."
        Both Athene and Ebiru gave him odd looks.
        "That rice gets a lot softer after it's cooked?"
        "That grapefruit sounds funny in French?"
        "Interesting points... but no. It means that bleach is stronger than Kasei's magic," Shadow finished.
        Athene and Ebiru's eyes widened. Each member of the trio simultaneously put their head in their hand and pondered the fact.
        "Ah"
        "Megami"
        "Sama."
        This fact was quickly stashed away in the special corner of each villain's brain that's used only for extremely important information. Seldom used, this section had to be cleared of cobwebs first, and the cleaning was visible by the way the henchpeople's faces were twisting. After all was clean and settled....
        "Well, what am I going to do about my clothes?"
        Athene went back to the Pondering Position (as the "head-in-hand" position shall now be called) while Shadow shrugged and reached to inspect a book sitting nearby.
        Ebiru glared at her brother. "Thanks for your hel... p!!!" Ebiru suddenly jumped up. "Phineas forgot his clothes when he left!!!" She was soon running off to his abandoned room.
        Shadow looked up from the book, shook his head, and continued reading, while Athene coughed from the dust cloud Ebiru had left by running off so quickly.
* * * * *
        Ebiru arrived at Phineas' doorway. "Now, where are his clothes..." Unlike the, er, "normal" henchpeople, Phineas actually had his own wardrobe, and did his own laundry in his free time. Why? Who knows. He was Finny. Nothing can explain the actions of the one called Finny. If you really want an explanation, here are your choices- him being a Guardian kinda canceled out any attempts Kasei made to put the "Perpetually Fresh Clothes" spell on his own outfits, or cuz he just didn't follow the villain rulebook well. *shrug*
        Anyways, where were we.... Ah, yes. Ebiru saw the tip of Phineas' closet door sticking out of the mess known as his room. You'd be amazed how much property a 500 year old guy could acquire. After some digging, Ebiru managed to wretch open the door, and with a strategically placed box, successfully kept the door open. It'd really suck to be trapped in Finny's closet. What a horrible way to die.
        "Wow, it's dark in here..." Ebiru muttered to herself. She traced a line from one top corner of the closet to the other, and as soon as she lifted her finger from the wall, the line poofed into a little strip of flame. How handy.
        Digging through the clothing hanging in his closet, Ebiru found some rather odd things. One was a rather loud hawaiian shirt, complete with bright pink flamingos scattered all over it. Others were too horrifying to speak of. She even found the ruffly shirt of a wealthy Frenchman in there... Probly around 18th or 19th century... the Napoleonic Era.
        Shaking her head, Ebiru muttered, "We've been around a looong time." Continuing her search, she soon came to some shirts that were more around their current century. Eventually, she picked out a plain white button-down shirt.
        Trying it on, she realized that Phineas was actually quite tall. Rolling up the overly-long sleeves, she decided it would work for her purpose, until she could make a new dress.
        "Onto pants. Where... are... your pants, Phineas?" she muttered to herself once more, having escaped the closet and now searching for some sort of a dresser in the mess of his room. Noticing a heap in the corner, she begin picking things off of it, revealing just what she was looking for. Opening the drawers, she began sifting through the objects.
        "Various junk..." she closed that drawer and looked through another, "Socks and underwear... um, no." (Boxers or briefs? The world may never know, hehe.) Quickly moving on, she found the pants drawer. "We have pants!" she exclaimed to herself. She began digging through them, discarding most onto the floor.
        Suddenly, Ebiru gasped and held up a particular pair of pants. "Jeans! The twit had jeans!" Trying them on, she mumbled to herself, "Sheesh, I can barely walk in my dress, but he has jeans? Hmph... There." Looking down at herself, she realized how ridiculous she must have looked. The pants were drooping around her hips, and were much longer than necessary. "Finny, why do you have to be so damned tall? Oh well, at least my self esteem isn't hurt any more by you being thinner than me." She retrieved her splotchy black dress, and tore the red stripe off of it, using this as a belt. Then she ripped the jeans above the knees, making them shorts. "I guess my temporary outfit's complete..."
        Ebiru picked up her shoes and inspected them. "Shoot. Those little twirps got bleach on my shoes, too." Tossing them on the remains of her dress, she picked up the splotchy bundle and padded barefoot to a nearby room in hopes that it'd have a mirror. (Since the poor girl was unlucky enough to get bleach thrown on her in the first place, let's be nice.) Lucky her, there was a full-length mirror just inside the room.
        Ebiru stared at her own reflection. The ripped jean shorts were almost completely covered by the too-long white shirt, sleeves rolled up. Complete with barefeet, she looked like a farmgirl.
        "And not a bit of black on me. I look so cheery. Ugh." Despite her mutterings, Ebiru liked the change a bit. That dress and cloak had been her only outfit for quite a few centuries. Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, Ebiru teleported back to the Villain Lounge, er, her room. After tossing her tattered dress into a desolate corner, she turned around to meet two sets of very wide eyes.
        "What?" Ebiru growled.
        "You ah..." Athene cleared her throat. "You look so... rustic." She put on an uneasy smile.
        Ebiru turned to glare at Shadow. "Don't say a word." She walked over to flop on her bed.
        Shadow smirked and quickly went back to his book. "I wasn't gonna say a thing."
        Rolling on her side, Ebiru looked at the other henchpeople. "I have to make a new dress. I'll need your help."
        Athene cringed and Shadow rolled his eyes, but both reluctantly agreed.
        "Good. I'll go ask Kasei if we can go fabric shopping."
* * * * *
        "Um, Sorceress Kasei?" Ebiru timidly approached her boss.
        "Yes?" Kasei asked with a bit of annoyance.
        "Well, um, my dress was ruined, so the other villains and I would like to go out and buy some fabric..."
        "As long as it doesn't involve me, go ahead." Kasei turned around to look at her. And immediately burst out laughing. "Off to feed the pigs, too?" she snickered.
        Ebiru frowned and commented sarcastically, "Yeah, that too." In a low voice she added, "Hen-Wen(1) needs to be nice and strong to kick your arse, witch."
        "What was that?" Kasei cocked her head in curiousity.
        "Nothing. Um, thank you, Sorceress." Ebiru stealthily backed out of the room.
        "Huh." Kasei shrugged and turned back to whatever she was doing, oblivious to her henchperson's dislike of her.
* * * * *
        "Ok, let's go." Ebiru rushed into her room and grabbed the other two villains' arms, teleporting them all to a fabric store somewhere.
        As the other two villains blinked away the surprise of the sudden teleport and let their eyes get used to the bright lights, Ebiru assigned them tasks. "Shadow, get black fabric. I don't know how much... Probably about ten yards should suffice for both the dress and cloak. Athene, red fabric, ajust a yard should do, and I'll go look for a pattern to use as a template. Bye then." She started off towards the pattern corner, leaving two bewildered villains in her wake.
        "Ok, um, black..." Shadow wandered off.
        "And red..." As did Athene.
* * * * *
        Ebiru started her searching, spending most of her time looking through costumes. She highly doubted there would be anything even close to her dress under "Casual Wear", "Sleep Wear", or even "Formal Wear."
        "Excuse me, Miss?" Ebiru looked up to see a store employee speaking to her.
        "Yes?"
        "You must have shoes to be in the store, I'm sorry. You'll have to leave."
        Ebiru looked down at her bare feet, then at the woman's feet. With just a slight hand gesture, Ebiru was wearing the woman's white tennis shoes.
        Smirking to herself, Ebiru stood up. "Well, I guess you'll have to leave then, huh? Come on now." Ebiru escorted the utterly confused lady to the door. "Go get yourself some shoes, and return when you're properly clothed, ok?" With a final push, the woman was standing outside, blinking at the sidewalk.
        Ebiru bent over to tighten the laces on her new shoes. "A little large, but good enough." Calmly walking back to the table with the pattern books on it, she continued her searching.
* * * * *
        Shadow slowly walked past the fabrics, muttering to himself as he passed the gray fabrics that were slowly getting darker as he approached the black. "Black. Finally. How many shades of grey do people need? Sheesh..." Picking up the bolt of fabric, he walked to the cutting counter.
        The lady there looked up at him and instantly backed up a bit. Nervously, she asked, "M-May I help you?"
        "I need ten yards of this," he set the fabric on the counter.
        The woman began unrolling to bolt of fabric. When she suddenly came to the end of the roll, her eyes widened and she backed off even more. "I'm sorry, um, sir, but there's not enough fabric."
        Shadow sighed. "How much is there, then?"
        "Um," she checked the measurement. "Eight, sir."
        "I'll take that, then."
        Nodding, the woman quickly made out the slip of paper that contained the measurement and price for the cashier to use.
        Scowling, Shadow wandered in Ebiru's direction.
* * * * *
        As Athene made her way toward the reds, she thought she saw a flash of red-orange hair disappear behind the rack fabrics. Making sure to walk the rest of the length as quietly as possible, she snuck up to the rack and peeked over. Crouched on the floor, probably hoping the red-orange fabrics would help conceal his bright hair, was Phineas.
        Athene stared as Phineas felt her shadow on him and looked up, a sheepish grin on his face. "Phineas!" Athene exclaimed. "What in the worl-"
        Finny quickly stood up and clasped his hand over her mouth. "Will you be quiet?!" Glancing over at Shadow, he realized Athene's outburst had caught the other villain's ear, as he was trying to look in their direction to see what was up. Phineas quickly ducked back behind the fabric rack, and Shadow, not seeing anything, continued what he was doing.
        Athene leaned back over the rack and whispered, "What in the world are you doing here?"         "Hiding from the Sailor Ronins. They're driving me crazy! I figured they'd never look for me here," Phineas explained.
        "Oh. Um, ok then."
        "Hey, wait, what are you doing here?"
        "Oh, the SR brats threw bleach on Ebiru, so she needs to make a new dress. We're getting fabric."
        "Great, but why'd you have to come here? To this town? There are lots of other fabric stores in the world..."
        Athene shrugged. "We don't get out much. We know this town pretty well from trying to attack the brats so much, so we knew about this fabric store."
        "Oh." Phineas blinked, unsure of what to say next. Then the person looking at patterns caught his eye. "Who's the farmgirl? My replacement?"
        Athene looked to where he gestured. "Oh, no, that's Ebiru. Since her dress was ruined, she took some of your leftover clothes and made that pitiful outfit."
        Finny stared. "That's Ebiru? Weird." Then suddenly he jolted upright. "And those are my clothes!?"
        "Yep. Poor girl, forced to degrade herself like that."
        Finny glared at her, then glanced from Shadow to Ebiru nervously. "Well, um, how 'bout we just pretend we never saw each other here, ok? It'll probly be better for both of us."
        Athene nodded. "Sure, whatever. I gotta get this red fabric to Ebiru. Bye Phineas." She turned around just in time to see him disappear behind another fabric rack. Shaking her head in disbelief, she grabbed the red fabric and made her way over to Ebiru, who was signaling her.
* * * * *
        When Athene was close enough, Ebiru told her to get three yards of red instead of just one. Nodding her head in understanding, Athene meandered over to the cutting counter. Meanwhile, Ebiru turned to the filing cabinets in the pattern-corner, and proceeded to search for something, while Shadow stood around with nothing to do and feeling like an idiot because of it.
        Soon, Ebiru closed the drawer, holding the pattern for a cloaked medieval costume. Sighing at how much she'd have to tweak the pattern, Ebiru went to catch up with Athene, with Shadow silently following.
        By the time Ebiru and Shadow met back up with Athene, she had finished getting the fabric cut. Ebiru collected the assorted things they had each found, and headed towards the cashier.
        Athene and Shadow stood where they were, staring at Ebiru as though she were insane. Shadow cleared his throat and spoke their thoughts, "Are you insane?" Shaking his head, Shadow walked up to Ebiru, who was now the person standing shocked. "We're villains, and you're gonna pay for this stuff? Like... somebody who's not a villain?"
        Ebiru wondered at his sudden loss of vocabulary. "Perhaps you should talk a bit more often, get some practice," she commented as she patted his shoulder consolingly, then she turned back to her path towards the cashier.
        Shadow ran by her and stood before his sister, and scowling. "You're not following the villain rulebook!"
        "Chapter 9, Rule 3: 'Since all henchpeople must hate their boss, then they must also revolt. But never in an all-out attack against their master, they must simply revolt in minor ways.' That's why we always fail our missions." Ebiru looked at the two villains, who were nervously glancing at each other. "Isn't it...? Oh well. Anyways, Kasei wouldn't like it if I actually paid for this stuff, therefore, in the spirit of revolution, I will." (2) Ebiru once more made her way towards the cashier, leaving Shadow looking completely baffled.
        "She's got you there," Athene commented as she passed by him, following Ebiru.
        Shadow, too, followed- scowling all the way.
* * * * *
        After producing some money from her pocket (which the author doesn't remember placing there in the first place... *shrug*), Ebiru paid for the pattern and fabrics. Then, ignoring the fact that they were standing in front of a soon-to-be-bewildered cashier, Ebiru teleported them back to the castle. Just as they were flashing out of there, Ebiru heard the bell on the store door jingle, and a male voice shriek, "They've found me!!!" Out of the corner of her eye, Ebiru saw Athene make an odd face for a moment, then the next thing she knew, they were all back in Ebiru's room, and Athene's expression was back to normal. Ebiru brushed the incident off, deciding it was her imagination. As for the person or people who had entered just as they were leaving, she determined that they would have only seen a small flash, and thought that it was just a flickering light.
        Now back in her room, Ebiru grabbed some paper and a pencil, and sat down at her desk to begin sketching the changes she would make to the dress pattern to suit her tastes and accomodate for the lack of black fabric.

____________________________________
(1) A reference to "The Black Cauldron." I dunno if Hen-Wen actually had any offensive magic. Heh, I don't even remember if she had any magic at all! She was just a weird pig with a funny name that I decided to use. Consider yourself lucky I didn't bring Gurgi in. It was 1:30 in the morning (several mornings, actually- consecutive mornings, even) when I wrote most of this.
(2) Yes, I actually reason things out like this. You don't even wanna know about my argument against Harry Potter...

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